We are saved! Global warming is finally here, and we won't have to freeze our butts off anymore. The gurus of Chicken Little-ism assure us that the recent spate of record setting cold weather is somehow, mysteriously, due to some kind of bewildering backhanded result of the global warming debacle.

Now, I have a Bachelor of Science degree in Environmental Science/Ecology, a dual minor in Chemistry & Sociology, and over twenty years experience in the fields of Environmental and Civil Engineering. To me, this sounds like pure and unadulterated bullshit. But what do I know? I am not a liberal. Even worse, I am a conservative, redneck hillbilly so my opinion is irrelevant by definition. If Algore and the Chosen One say that the bone chilling cold I have been suffering this winter, and the snow in new Orleans and Las Vegas is due to global warming who am I to argue? I am just an Environmental Scientist with two decades of experience.

But if that is the case, then my heart is deeply gladdened and truly joyful. because I LIKE the idea of global warming. I hate freezing. I like warm. I like longer growing seasons and wetter climates. I like unlocking more fresh water into the atmosphere. I LIKE the idea of bringing back the climate that produced the Roman empire and allowed it to flourish.

Now, the final proof is here. The United Arab Emirates is getting snowed on. I am not shitting you. Read it right here: 

This is the frozen north ... of the UAE

RAS AL KHAIMAH // Snow covered the Jebel Jais area for only the second time in recorded history yesterday.So rare was the event that one lifelong resident said the local dialect had no word for it.

According to the RAK Government, temperatures on Jebel Jais dropped to -3°C on Friday night. On Saturday, the area had reached 1°C.

Major Saeed Rashid al Yamahi, a helicopter pilot and the manager of the Air Wing of RAK Police, said the snow covered an area of five kilometres and was 10cm deep....